What Do You Want? #1999

In the last several +1s (here, here and here), we spent some time together chatting about the final day of Emerson’s recent chess National Championships.

Today I want to conclude that micro series with how the weekend began.

It began the same way ALL of our chess adventures begin—with one of my all-time favorite rituals.

It goes like this…

The moment we drive through the gate and leave our property, I tell him how excited I am about the tournament we’re heading to and the fact that we get to spend some time together.

Then…

I ask him: “What do you want?”

And…

He says: “To be a good person and to be a Grandmaster.”

To which I always say: “Good answer. And good order!”

Then I proceed to ask him HOW he will hit those targets.

He starts by telling me that to be a good person he’ll live with wisdom, discipline, love, courage, gratitude, hope, curiosity, and zest.

(We’ve done it so many times that he can now rattle off those cardinal virtues and the ones science says are most highly correlated to one’s well-being in the order in which they appear on our virtue compass and the back of my book, etc.)

Then he tells me what each of those virtues means.

“Wisdom is knowing how to live.”

“Discipline is doing what needs to get done.”

“Love is being kind and thoughtful.”

“Courage is doing things you’re afraid to do.”

“Gratitude is appreciating the good things in your life.”

“Hope is knowing your future will be better than your present and having a plan to make it so.”

“Curiosity is paying attention to what’s working and what needs work.”

“Zest is dominating the fundamentals so you have great energy.”

To which I say: “Incredible. What’s the one-word summary of that?”

He says: “Areté.”

I ask what that means.

He says: “Excellence or virtue.”

I say: “Exactly. And what happens when you live with Areté?”

He says: “You feel good. You experience eudaimonia.”

I say: “Exactly. What’s that and what happens when you live like that and dedicate your life to something bigger than yourself?”

He says: “Eudaimonia means ‘good soul’ and when you do all that you’re Heroic.”

I smile and think to myself…

“My goodness I love this young man.”

Then we move on to how he’s going to become a Grandmaster.

We start by setting the time horizon—the target he has set for himself is to become a GM by the time he’s 18, in less than 5 years.

Then we talk about his next big near-term target: becoming a National Master—which he wants to do in the next 4-8 months.

Then we talk about what, specifically, he’s going to do to have a shot at hitting that goal.

Right now it’s hammering a book of high-level puzzles, continuing to exercise more and do the other stuff he does with his coach to dominate.

And…

That’s Today’s +1.

Spotlight on YOU.

What do YOU want?

May I encourage you to START by saying you want to be (/continue to be!) a good person?

That’s (always!!) the ULTIMATE game.

And then…

Once we know the ultimate game we’re playing, let’s get clear on the other big games we’re playing.

What are they for you?!

Perhaps a big Energy target? 🎯

An exciting Work target? 🎯

And a meaningful Love target? 🎯

It’s Day 1.

We’re ALL IN.

Let’s go!!

P.S. The absolute best part of the last six months?

Eleanor now joins us on most of our chess adventures. She’s only a few reps in to answering those questions but is already starting to rock it.