In our last couple of +1s (here and here), we talked about the science of motivating young people.

Today we’re going to continue that discussion.

So...

The kids got up after another great night of sleep. (Emerson’s a 92/93 Oura—ready to rock the final day. Protocol dominated. I’m kinda proud of my wingman services! 🤓)

We just got back from a little walk around the hotel to get some mommy-approved AM sunlight.

On our walk, I chatted with Emerson about the wisdom we’ve been discussing.

Quick context…

Emerson’s United States Chess Federation rating is currently about 2100.

He’s *really* excited about getting that to 2200–at which point he will officially become a National Master.

That was his goal when he FIRST started playing chess. Check out this +1 from years ago for more on that initial goal.

Now…

He wants to get there within the next several months—which is aggressive. He’s been doing the things his coach has encouraged him to do but, for the last couple weeks, he’s been kinda sorta just doing the minimum.

And…

I kinda sorta told him that he could probably kinda sorta step up his game a bit if he wants to accelerate his path to National Master.

Although I wasn’t a total jerk about it, I could tell that when I said it last night I bummed him out a bit—as he told me that his coach has been celebrating how many puzzles he’s been doing, etc.

I kinda sorta repaired it last night but I did a MUCH better job this morning.

Here’s what I said…

Me: “Did I bum you out a bit when I pushed on your training last night?”

Him: “Yah.”

Me: “Sorry about that! I literally just wrote about how to be a good parent-mentor this morning. I talked about how sometimes, if you push hard but don’t have enough warmth, you can be a jerk. That’s what I did. I’m sorry!”

To which he said: “It’s all good!!”

Then I used the “transparency statement” Professor Yeager tells us works so well.

Me: “I want you to know that I believe in you and I’m excited to help you hit your target in the timeframe you’ve set for yourself. I’m pushing you because I think you can do it and… that you might be able to step up your training a bit to give yourself the best shot! Again… Sorry about being a bit of a jerk when I said it last night!”

Him: “I think you’re right! And all good!”

Me: “So… What, specifically, do you think you can do differently?”

Then we talked about the specifics of what he can do.

I won’t bore you with the details but there were some fun parallels to great golfers working on their “openings” (off the tee!), “middlegames” (fairways, etc.), and “endgames” (short game!).

Then we set some fun targets to take it up a notch.

Awesome.

Today’s +1.

Spotlight on YOU.

Where do YOU tend to err when you fall out of the wise mentor mindset?

Are you an enforcer—with high standards but not enough warmth?

Or…

Are you a protector—with high warmth but low standards?

Most importantly…

How can you optimize just a little more?

And…

Can you put this into practice with a loved one TODAY?

Awesome.

Get on that.

Day 1.

All in.

We’ve got heroes to train.

Let’s go!!!

Don’t Be a Jerk! #2007

Enforcer >> Wise Mentor

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